Lived Arc, Step By Step

By reflecting on my military experience, I illustrate the process of institutionalization, awakening, reframing, and reorientation.

Institutionalization began, perhaps, the moment I walked into the recruiter’s office in Spring 2003 at age 17. From then on, each choice and need was scripted by the military.

Fast forward to six years in, at my first TAPS class, I had a moment of awakening, where I realized I was completely unprepared for civilian life. Shortly after that realization, a crusty first-class petty officer in Personnel office (and I’m there to get my plane ticket out) planted a seed that flipped my thinking: “Until now the Navy has taken everything from you, HM2. Reenlist, and take what you can from the Navy.”

For the first time, I was told I could use the institution for myself, not only serve it. That moment reframed reenlistment from duty to strategy — a way to buy time, leverage resources, and prepare for life after service.

From there, I started taking evening college courses and, for the first time, imagining career goals post-military. It was also my first attempt at autonomy — and it exposed how hard it was to form my own stance after years of just following orders starting at age 18.

In reorientation to the civilian world, I shifted from executing missions assigned to me toward constructing my own personal mission. Over the past ten years as a veteran, I’ve learned that we often leave with strong discipline but little practice in self-authorship. The real work of transition is not just “finding a job,” but learning how to imagine, plan, and direct one’s own life.

A step-by-step of my lived arc of institutionalization → awakening and reframing → reorientation.

1. Institutionalization Phase (Bootcamp and On)

• Choice constrained by system filters:

  • Aptitude test defines “options.”

  • Citizenship barrier blocks career paths (cryptologic tech), showing how even identity/legal status is subordinated to institutional logic.

• Total life design outsourced:

  • Bootcamp enforces obedience to orders: where to be, when, how.

  • Pipeline (bootcamp → A school → field training → duty station → deployment) is entirely prescribed.

  • All basic needs provided: food, housing, healthcare, clothes, social environment.

• Psychological effect:

  • Life = following orders + fulfilling mission.

  • Imagination of self is stunted because “choice” is externalized.

  • “What do you want to be?” feels alien, even impossible.

2. Awakening Phase (First TAPS Class, 6 Years In)

• Realization moment:

  • “I haven’t done anything to prepare for civilian life.”

  • TAPS interrupts the institutional flow → forces reflection. Or is it a check in the box?

• Start of autonomy practice:

  • Enrollment in college courses = first attempt to claim agency.

  • Thinking “I want to be a doctor” = shift from mission-centered (do what’s assigned) to self-centered (what do I want?).

• Barriers to autonomy:

  • Lack of writing/essay skills → symbolic of deeper issue: difficulty forming a position/opinion when you’ve been trained to subordinate your own stance.

3. Reframing Phase (The Petty Officer’s Quote)

• Moment of rupture: “Reenlist, and take what you can from the Navy.”

  • Subtle but profound shift: the institution can be used for self-benefit, not only served.

  • Reenlistment reframed from obligation → resource extraction strategy.

  • First taste of self-as-agent within the institutional shell.

4. Reorientation Phase (Self-Design Emerges)

• First attempt at self-driven identity:

  • Seaman to Admiral program becomes a transitional aspiration.

  • Still framed within military structure, but self-motivated within it.

• Shift from passive to active stance:

  • I started asking: “What do I want to be? What do I want to do?”

  • Transition from absorbing institutional missions → constructing personal mission.

Insight from My Story

Institutionalization in this context is not just about following orders. It’s about losing muscle in imagining, planning, or positioning oneself.

Veterans may exit service with high discipline and execution capacity but low self-direction and self-authorship capacity.

My refraining and awakening happened within the safety net of the institution (6 years in, via TAPS and college), but many service members never experience this before separation.

What this shows is that veterans may benefit from being introduced to intentionality earlier in their transition or before separation.

Part of this may entail teaching veterans the skills of self-authorship (imagining, planning, positioning, writing one’s stance), while helping to normalize that “the absence of mission” is disorienting and understand that self-as-mission is the new paradigm in life.